The Way to a Man's Pants is Through his Stomach
by NishiMiya Hiruka
Summary: if you get the title, you know what this is about. :D


TITLE: The Way to a Man's Pants is Through his Stomach

Pairing: Francis-Matthew (France-Canada)

Warnings: OOC-ness, failed!attempts at humor and the usual. AU. school setting - which means that they will be in their teens here, but I won't mention their ages. will probably lead to a lemon. =D

Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, Hetalia would be for yaoi fangirls by a yaoi fangirl. And there'd be nothing subtle about it. =p

A/N: I have to admit, aphrodisiacs intrigue me. The idea for this came to me one day while I was snacking on Dewberry biscuits. It's not completely original, since I think I've read a similar fic before, though the pairing and foods used and general flow of the story are way different. =9

: Aaah, the foreign words. I'm not really sure about them, since the only readily available source was the Translate option in MS Word. (the laptop I always use for writing has no internet connection, believe it or not. -_-llll)

: I decided with NOT using my usual POV style here. Putting myself in Francis' shoes is _hard, _period.

: Special thanks to **ANA-CHAN** for researching a bit for me. It sucks to not have an internet-connected computer at your beck and call. I know she'll be reading this one day, so: Ana-chan he, arigatou! \(^O^)/

: And also to **hoshiko2kokoro**, since I loved her Francis & Matthew in "And All That Jazz." Enough to make me write this, apparently. (^0^)

: oh, also, this is a little something for **Maiah-chan** (i forgot her name here on fanfiction. XD). she requested a fic with Francis in it. :D

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><p>Francis had had many relationships before this one. They never lasted for more than a month or two, so when he met Matthew Williams, fell for him and courted (like he did with his past partners), he didn't expect the relationship to last <em>this<em> long.

_This _long being six months. Yes, it was a record.

Matthew was the type of guy to just fade in the background. Sure, he was cute and all, with honey blond hair and purple eyes - not to mention that adorable curl of hair that would always stray - but he was quiet and reserved, so people didn't actually pay attention to him.

Even more so since his stepbrother just happened to be one of the most popular guys in the entire student body.

Anyway, six months was a really long time for Francis. A really, _really_ long time.

Six months and they haven't done it yet.

He had tried talking to Matthew about it several times already, using indirect terms to more straightforward words. The result was either a confused Matthew (for the former), and an adorably red one.

And despite how adorable he looked with both expressions, Francis couldn't bring himself to force the boy.

So one day a very sexually frustrated Francis wrote up a list. He had carefully decided on what to include on it, even going as far as doing some intensive research, and he was sure that nothing could go wrong with this plan.

"Francis? What are you doing?" Matthew had asked, his eyes widening at the heading written in Francis' delicate hand. Foods that _mon amour_ Matthew should try. "I can't afford most of these. My allowance is going to go down the drain, you know?"

He smiled, turning away from piece of paper and placing a hand under Matt's chin. "And that's exactly why I'll be treating you, _Matthieu_. In the form of dates, of course."

When the blond boy's cheeks turned pink, Francis knew that his answer would definitely be a yes.

* * *

><p>1. SALAD<p>

Francis made his move immediately when the weekend came around. He invited Matthew over to his place, which, despite his previous visits, still managed to amaze him.

He had one of his family's best chefs prepare the first item on his list, and when lunch time came, they had settled into the dining table to eat.

Francis patiently waited for their last meal, and when it arrived - a fresh salad of lettuce, artichokes and several other vegetables drizzled with honey, wine, and a bit of nutmeg - he had to watch his breathing to make sure that he was not giving anything away.

Dessert had passed uneventfully though, except for Matt being a bit tipsy from the wine.

Okay, so maybe artichokes and the seasonings were a bit too mild. It was time to step things up a notch.

* * *

><p>2. FIGS<p>

_You can't go wrong with figs, _Francis had thought, and brought a pack to school one day to give to Matthew.

"Wow, so these are figs... I always thought they'd be some kind of branch," aforementioned boy had said when Francis had dropped the pack onto his table after class.

Francis stiffled a laugh. "Those are firs, _cher_. Figs are fruits. They're quite sweet, about the same as your beloved maple syrup, so I think you will like them."

Matthew blushed and nodded, opening the pack and taking one of the already peeled fruits. He popped it into his mouth, moving it around before swallowing and throwing a huge smile at Francis which sent his spirit flying.

"These are delicious, Francis!"

And then he was wolfing them down. Francis watched in anticipation for those signs that the figs had worked, but they never came.

The next day he found out that Matt had had milk* before he ate the fruits.

He sighed and mumbled something about God playing another joke on him again.

* * *

><p>3. TOMALLEY<p>

Despite it being a culinary delicacy, the thought of eating some sea creature's _liver_ kind of disgusted Francis. And if it weren't a potent aphrodisiac, he would never have thought of feeding his _Matthieu _such a thing either.

Matt didn't seem to mind though. In fact, he looked like he actually _enjoyed _having an internal organ in his mouth. Needless to say, it weirded even Francis out, but he ignored it; it was certainly working.

Coupled with good wine, it was doing wonders.

Soon enough, Matthew was warming up considerably - staring at Francis with a look in his eyes that the other had never seen before (and never thought he'd see), brushing his thigh against Francis', moving closer to him...

In no time he was spouting the _sexiest _things Francis had _ever _heard, like how he enjoyed the attention he was lavishing him with, and the delicious food, and what he could possibly do to repay him for being so kind and nice and hot and-

Francis' brain shut down upon hearing the word "repay" and when he came to, he was surrounded by a hospital smell and the sound of sirens and Matthew's panicky voice being directed at the driver, telling him to go faster.

It was the first time he had ever been in public transportation.

He also resolved to _never _return to that restaurant again.

* * *

><p>4. TRUFFLES<p>

That was it. It was time to pull out his trump card.

Truffles.

His researching had concluded with one thing: the mushrooms were the best of the best. That, and they were French, which was definitely enough for Francis.

He had devoted his time to finding the _best _quality truffles, placing an order and having them shipped over. Of course, at a price that he would never _ever _reveal to the Canadian teen.

Considering how much he had spent and the many praises for the fungi he had found on the internet, he was absolutely _sure _that _nothing _would go wrong with this.

He spoke too soon.

_Everything _went wrong.

He had left the small bag of truffles in Matthew's locker while they were in P.E. class. That was when a blond idiot - specifically Matthew's brother, who goes by the name of Alfred - decided to check Matthew's locker for anything to eat. Hey, how was Francis supposed to know that he had a key to his brother's locker?

He went and grabbed the bag of mushrooms - not at all disturbed by their strange dark color, probably because he thought it was normal since he does eat Arthur's homemade food - and even used them as additional filling to his burgers.

Which, of course, led to predictable results. (Hint: he had to rush to the bathroom to relieve himself.)

Francis paled at the thought of spending so much money only to be put to waste by his lover's American brother.

But, on the bright side, Matthew would never know that he had been the one to put the things there...

...Some bright side that turned out to be.

* * *

><p>With all his hope gone and not enough will to find someone else - he could <em>never <em>cheat on his beloved _Matthieu -_ Francis eventually went into withdrawal.

He was in his room, hidden under the covers, when Matthew came in with a bunch of papers in his hand and a confused look on that beautiful face.

"I found this in the other room, by the computer, Francis," he said. The Frenchman lifted the covers enough to see his boyfriend's face. "It was about aphrodisiacs. The food in your list... It's all here. What a coincidence, eh?"

_'Mon Dieu, _he _knows.' _All Francis had to do was deny it, and Matthew would believe it. He was giving him a way out, _trusting _him to tell the truth, just waiting to be told what to believe.

He didn't deny it.

Francis lifted the sheets off of himself and sat up, not facing Matt as he said, "It isn't, _mon cher_."

He heard Matthew sigh and a shuffling of papers - either they were being flipped through or arranged and placed on a table - before he felt the bed give way to an additional weight.

"I'm sorry, Francis."

"_Matthieu, cher, _I believe it is I who needs to apologize, _no?" _

Matt shook his head. "I knew you wanted to do it, but I pushed you away. I think I'm the one who has to say sorry." He smiled. "I kind of knew there was something going on though, especially since you didn't eat a single bite of any of them."

Francis let out a chuckle. "The thought of something's liver going down my throat disgusted me. Other than that, I didn't think I needed to partake in any of those foods."

Matthew laughed heartily. "You practically just admitted that you're eternally in heat."

"Only for you, _mon amour. _Only for you."

And that certainly had the Canadian teen blushing up to his ears.

He was quiet for a good length of time before saying, "I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what, _Matthieu_?"

Matthew looked up from his gaze on his clenched fists on his lap, a determined look in his violet eyes as he stared straight into Francis' sky blue ones. "I want to do it with you."

The Frenchman was still for only a few seconds before pulling Matthew by the arm and into the center of the bed and under him, lavishing him with kisses, then pulling away a short while later to stare at the other's kiss-swollen lips, bright pink cheeks, and the look in his eyes that Francis _never_ thought he'd get to actually see in his eyes.

Clothes disappear and kisses were bestowed upon every inch of Matt's body, a hickey here and there, licks and nips, a dip of the tongue in the belly button, and when Francis decided it was time to _finally _set eyes on the part of his _Matthieu_'s body that he had always wanted to see, he was stopped by a slight pull on his hair.

He looked up to see Matthew with that determined look in his eyes again, and he let himself be pushed down.

"I think I need to thank you, Francis," he began as he worked with the other's clothes. "For being patient with me and going for the indirect method..."

Francis let out a chuckle - which slightly faltered into a moan when Matt's fingers brushed against his skin while he unbuttoned his top - and replied, "I love you too much to force you to do something you against your volition, _cher._"

Matthew turned bright red. "And I love you too, Francis, but I'll show it to you instead."

He unzipped the other's pants and gently palmed his erection.

The moan Francis let out was impossible to miss.

"May I?"

A soft laugh from the Frenchman. "Anything for my beloved _Matthieu_..."

Matthew grinned and completely removed Francis' bottoms, eyeing the other's vital regions. He bent down, slowly breathing against the other's crotch, saying "Francis always brings me the best treats" before letting go of all his inhibitions and engulfing him in his mouth.

* * *

><p>...So in the end, this became a mere lime instead of an all out lemon. But I hope ya guys enjoyed that. =D<p>

Email notifications of reviews feed my fire. R&R, onegai shimasu!^^


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